The L-Word

A girlfriend told me yesterday that she just knew God was not happy with her for her divorce situation.

A few years ago, I would have agreed with her, and I may have even been one to offer that statement.  I wonder how many readers have that same belief; that the miraculous powerful creator of this universe is MAD, or DISAPPOINTED in us?

As soon as she spoke the words, “God….not happy……me,” I felt heat rise up inside me.  Anger not directed at her, but anger in her defense.  Anger at the idea of legalism and my personal experience with it.  Legalism (I called it the “L-Word”) taught me to be good little Christian girl and do all the right things so that I would be in good standing with God.  Then I just knew that he would bless me, and I would be happy.  Legalism led me to the guilt, then spiraled me into devastating SHAME.  Shame introduced me to addictions, depression,  and suicidal tendencies to name a few.  The illusion I had  of God because of legalism and false teaching  in my childhood led me down a path of destruction.  Shockingly,  growing up in the church all my life brought me to a  space (a few years back)  where I felt my only answer in life was to end it.

How could that be?  What did I miss?  What I missed was a simple principle that was not talked about much.

Love

Love was the thing I never heard  about.  In my  opinion, that would have really screwed up the whole  “control thing.”   I mean, if you know about the New Testament, that “love” thing sure did freak out those Pharisees back when Jesus walked around living out love.

I didn’t know of this love.  Curriculum in the SBC was that we had to know all the stories and facts.  Sermons were preached about “asking Jesus into my heart” or go to hell forever.   THAT was the God of my childhood.  The illusion was that if I was bad, God punished.  For this reason alone I did not have sex until my wedding night,  drink until I was 21, always kept curfew,  and never went behind my parents back.  I was what my high school friends called a “goody goody.”  I did all the right things but not for the right reasons.  Fear ruled my decisions.   LEGALISM…..  The L-Word.  I was afraid God would get mad at me and punish me for having sex before marriage.  I feared the wrath of my parents worse than the wrath of God when it came to drinking and curfew.  So out of fear, I maintained my purity.

Living in fear and lack of any understanding of love brought me to crisis.  At the end of my marriage 7 years ago, as I began to seek truth, and question what I had been spoon fed.... I had a mini-breakdown, and a year later an all out nervous breakdown.  My belief system completely deconstructed, I made some not so “goody goody” choices.  In that muck and mire, I met God.  For the first time in my life, I met Him and I saw Him.  What  I discovered  was that He is nothing like the God of my childhood.

LOVE

He is LOVE and  incapable of being disappointed, angry, or even thinking about me in any way other than the thought of, “I love you.”   He cannot be love and be accusing.  In fact, the accuser and guilt giver is actually the enemy of our soul… Satan himself.  Scriptures plainly state, “there is no condemnation in Christ.”  There are consequences in life ( I know about some of those), but not because he gives them.  Consequences are a natural order of the universe….  It grieves God when we make choices that are not his heart and best for us, only because HE is LOVE.  He knows what the road holds.   Unwanted pregnancies, broken families, addictions are just a few consequences from unwise choices.  But they are not because of an impersonal God in the clouds up there is just waiting for us to mess it all up so he can dish out a punishment.  The enemy of our soul wants us to believe it.

DONT ……

It is a Lie.  It is legalism….  How about we adopt a new L-Word.

LOVE.

Let’s all receive the love from the creator of the universe.  He loves us all so much.  Once we get that, really receive it into our hearts, then………. we are truly able to LOVE ourselves, and then LOVE others

Raise some Kale!

Move over Popeye with YO Spinachy-Self

Kale is the New Spinach!

That's right..... I said KALE!!!!!!  

Chances are, kale is not a normal food on your grocery list, but when you get through with reading this post, I bet you will be dashing to the nearest produce market and loading that basket with the beautiful bold green bunch.

Kale is my  2nd FAVORITE super food!  I love it!!!!!!

My first favorite, you ask?  

Hello?  Cocoa is my first!

 I am here to inform you that there are some surprising nutrients in this lovely curly leafed greenie.  

Packed gram for gram with more Vitamin C  than an orange,  vitamin K, (calorie for calorie) just as much protein as a steak, and all the necessary Alpha Linoleum Acid (ALA ) good fats.... you just can't NOT eat it!   

What is ALA you say?  Well basically, it is that omega 3 that we all need for optimum brain health, and  battles bladder, breast, colon, and ovarian cancers (to name a few).  

Why wouldn't anyone want to welcome this vibrant, nutrient dense veggie to the table?

Lets pretend that the battle Kale fights for our health is like a football game, shall we?  

The powerful key team players are:

 The Defensives:  Quercetin, Sulforaphane, ALA's
When I think of a defensive player, my first thought is a linebacker.  Linebackers are the portrait of toughness and grit in the game of football and the linebackers are usually the ones that make the tackle on any given play.
(My son plays football..... I know a little..... and I mean just a little)   Quercetin (linebacker) tackles inflammation and oxidative stress and prevents plaque build up in arteries so the rest of the team can deliver the nutrients needed for optimum health.  I won't go on and on with all the many nutrients in kale.  I don't know enough about football!  Sulforaphane, another linebacker is there too and, well I just know that they are armed and ready to get gritty and fight cancer!

The Offensives: carotenoids, flavonoids, ALA's
Offensively, there is this position called the tight end..... my son plays this;  its his favorite position to play.  What little I know, is that the tight end has to block ambushers trying to get to the quarterback or anyone with the ball.  His job is to get a good solid hit and slow down anyone going for the quarterback.  If it looks like the quarterback is going to get into trouble due to lots of guys trying to ambush him, the tight end must not only hit one of these guys, but he must then get into the open so he can catch the ball if the quarterback gets into trouble and has no time to find a receiver.   The tight ends are the carotenoids and flavonoids.  These beauties protect our body (quarterback) from oxidative stress (ambushers)  that can result in diseases such as cataracts, pulmonary disease, and cancer  to name a few.   They get in there and block and hit the oxidative stress, inflammation, and anything that could potentially start out as cancer, type 2 diabetes, etc.

The tight end offense gets  the ALA (Omega 3's) AKA the fatty essential  to the brain where it is needed for  healthy brain function as well as reducing Type 2 Diabetes.  In the words of my 13-year-old son, "YEAH it does!"
The beautiful thing about this game is that these players  (phytonutrients) are not ball hoggers either.  They work as a team and  love to include other players in the mix to bring out even more benefits.

Kale loves lemon.   The acid in the lemon brings out the iron, making  it more available to our cells.

Pair kale with a friend like olive oil or avocado and you have a great fat soluble carotenoid to rush those cancer cells we may not even know are there yet just waiting to metastasize.

Kale and onions rock the field!  While kale is great steamed releasing many of the enzymes to fight hard for our cellular health, Dr Joel Fuhrman recommends chopping raw kale and raw onions together before heating.  He explains (much better than I will here) that  partaking in onions have been proven to reduce colon cancer by 56%, ovarian cancer by 73%, esophageal cancer by 88%,  prostate cancer 71%, and stomach cancer by 50%.  Onions contain enzymes that are heat sensitive and chopping them raw  first releases a powerful chemical reaction to the chopped raw kale chemicals.  When they get together in that "rawmazingness" and are added  to a lycopene rich cooked tomato sauce...... BAM!!!! TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!

So now that you have rushed out to the store and bought yourself some kale,  what do you do with it?

FEAR NOT!!!!

 Here are a few ways I enjoy it, as well as a few recipes I am about to try myself.

1.  I blend a cup of raw kale (stems removed) in my Ninja with coconut water or coconut milk.  (NO DAIRY PEOPLE)  Then I add all the rest of my smoothie ingredients and blend well.  Once the Cocoa powder is added, the strong kaley taste almost vanishes.

2.  I chop raw kale in my Ninja with an onion and then add it to my red sauce.....shhhhhhh  THE KIDS DON'T KNOW!!!!!

3. I love Kale chips (for the chip enthusiast...its WAY healthier and you get the satisfaction of crunching on something)

4.  I sauté kale with some garlic, olive oil, and a few walnuts!  Yum!

5.  Make a Caesar salad with kale instead of romaine.

Now a Few recipes I can't wait to try:

Quick and Easy Stew with Kale and White Beans

• 2 bunches kale, tough stems removed and coarsely chopped
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon Dr. Fuhrman's MatoZest or other no salt seasoning blend, adjusted to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper or to taste
• 3 cups cooked cannellini or other white beans or 2 (15 ounce) cans low sodium or no salt added, drained
• 3 cups diced tomatoes or 2 (15 ounce) cans diced tomatoes, low sodium or no salt added
• 2 cups vegetable broth, low sodium or no salt added, or more if needed to achieve desired consistency

Instructions:

Add kale and water to a soup pot, cover and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes or until kale is tender, stirring occasionally.
Add onion, garlic, MatoZest, black pepper and red pepper. Continue to cook, uncovered, for 5-7 more minutes.
Add beans, tomatoes and vegetable broth and bring to boil.
Reduce heat and simmer, covered for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Serve.

Cheesy Kale chips

3/4 C cashews

1 bunch of kale, washed dried

1/2 Roasted red pepper

1 clove garlic, peeled

1 T soy sauce

1/3 cup nutritional yeast

1 lemon peeled and cut into weeds unseeded

 Cover cashews with water in a small bowl and let the soak for at least one hour before proceeding.   Preheat oven to 300.  Line several baking sheets with parchment paper. Drain cashews and set aside.  Trim stems from each leaf and cut each leaf into chip size pieces.  Blend cashews, red pepper, garlic soy sauce, yeast and lemon in food processor til smooth.  In a large bowl, combine the kale and cashew past.  Make sure it is coated evenly and place the kale on sheets allowing space between each piece so they don't touch or overlap.  This will take more than one batch so reserve any remaining kale and refrigerate covered until the first batch has finished baking.  Bake kale til crisp and completely dry, checking every 10 min.  Check after the first 10 min and turn leaves over.   Check kale periodically.  Chips will be ready when crunchy and stiff and the topping doesn't feel chewy or moist.

Kale Yeah Slaw

1 Bunch of Kale, stemmed and sliced

1 Large Carrot, shredded

1/2 Orange juiced

1/2 Lemon juiced

1/2 Red Onion, sliced thin

2 TBS olive oil

Toss kale, carrot, juices in a large bowl.  Mix well.  Let it stand a few minutes and bring a saucepan of water to a boil and stir in the onion.  Cook just until the onions are soft.  Drain and immediately immerse in ice water.  Drain the water and blot onions dry with a paper towel.  Add the onion to the kale.  Stir in the olive oil.  Toss.  YUM!!!!!  

So what are you waiting for.....lets go raise some Kale!  Enjoy!  Do you have any yummy kale recipes?

HOT MESS

Have you ever looked at your child, or another's child or perhaps a friend and joked out loud, "You are a hot mess!"  Sometimes not really joking?  I have experienced a youngster who is described by adults I know "ONE HOT MESS!"  Laughter always follows when this comment is made.  Everyone seems to know this child and they join in on the chuckle.  This child is a little, round, spunky, jolly, always into sum-thin little girl.  She seems to always have her hands into or onto (other friends) something  she isn't supposed to.  She seems to always want to make the wrong choice and it always brings her an unpleasant result.  At times, we don't understand what goes on in between those two ears.  

Why does she keep doing the same things and getting unpleasant consequences like "time out" or walking at recess, or isolation at the "back table" when rest of classmates play?  Teacher jokes, "She is ONE HOT MESS" and throws her hands up in an 'I give up' kinda gesture.  I wonder how this little girl feels about it.  I wonder what is going on inside her tender heart and soul. 

I think this little girl and I have some things in common.  I relate to her mess. I have jolly, spunky tendencies and I am always into "something".   Many times in my life I choose the wrong path, and not just once.  Others say "Shelli, why do you keep doing this same thing; why don't you get it?"  I choose my own way and it is not the "prudent or wise" way.  Other times my heart is in a messy condition.  My thoughts and attitude rule me and rebellion and or bitterness tries to take root.  I wonder if my "Teacher" shakes his head, throws up his hands and in a chuckle affectionally sees his daughter (me) as ONE HOT MESS.  

I think he does see this hot mess, but he never throws up his hands in an 'I give up' gesture.  He continues to lift me out of the pit and set me on firm ground.  He patiently teaches me and shows me the wise ways.  The difference in me and this little girl's situation (among many obvious ones), is that God doesn't isolate me at the back table, or put me in "time out"  He is always near.   I celebrate that His love is everlasting and He is patient with this Hot Mess in progress.  

Isaiah 54:7

But with great compassion I will gather you and with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you says the Lord your Redeemer.  

Just Beet-it!

On a scale of 1 to 10 most folks would rate a Beet as a negative  gazillion.  

Before you snub your nose and turn away from this post, open your mind and take a chance on learning something new about this little red rooted veggie. 

Beets pack quite a punch in the "good for you" ring,  and this comes from a gal who used to H-A-T-E beets.

Growing up, beets were the first thing to go bye-bye on my plate.  They came from a can and were pickled!  I would shove them all into my mouth at once and wash it down with that big ole' gulp of ice cold milk.  Now that that was over, I felt I could savor and enjoy the things I liked on my plate.  That was how I rolled as a kid; getting rid of  the things I hated first.  

Sorry mom.

Before I share with you two of my favorite ways to get beets into my diet, let me tease you with a little bit of info about the powerful punch these little beauties pack! 

 Beets have numerous and I do mean numerous health benefits.  

With their anti-inflammatory, cleansing, anti-depressant, and even libido (oh yes they do!) enhancing benefits, who can resist trying beets with a new gusto.   Where overall blood and liver health are concerned, beets increase blood flow and purify the blood.  Feeling a little blue?  Betaine in the beet, helps ease depression, and trytophan relaxes the mind and generates a mood similar to what a piece of chocolate may do.  Who knew beets and chocolate can invoke similar emotions of joy.  Need a little lift in the bedroom?  Boron, a human sex hormone has been found to increase the libido.  The Romans used it as an aphrodisiac way back then and if was good for the Romans........ (Chocolate and aphrodisiac used in same  sentence with beets?  Just saying'!)  Beets pack a potent punch for expecting mothers as well, with their nutrient dense potassium, magnesium, fiber, phosphorus, iron, vitamins a b c,  beta carotenes, beta cyanine, and finally folic acid.  If all of this information has convinced you yet to give the poor veggie another shot then take a look at my two favorite ways to prepare a beet.

Roasting beets brings out their sweetness, and makes them super easy to peel.  Most don't wanna eat all that tough skin, although, like a baked potato, I have been known to eat the skin too.   

To Roast, start with beets that are firm and feel heavy for their size. Some beets come with their greens still attached.  Just cut off the greens, wash them, and reserve them to make a salad.  Yes, beet leaf salad is yummy too.  And if you refuse the salad, the greens are a pretty decoration to pretty up your plate.  Rinse and scrub and place on a large piece of aluminum foil.  Drizzle with olive oil, and salt and pepper them. Place in the oven at 375°F for about an hour.  And there you have it.  A colorful and tasty vegetable to add to any grilled meat or even on top of a salmon salad.

My 2nd favorite way to get my beets on, is to juice them.  I myself am not a juicer yet.  I am saving for my Vitamix.  However, I do like to run into Whole Foods and grab a juice mix of beet, apple, and lemon.  My attached link below will show you how you can do this at home.  I love having this juice in the morning, because it allows me to get my fruit servings in by the morning.  It also gives me a whopping 55 "good" carb intake toward my daily "good" carb allowance, energy with no BAD sugars.
http://thehungryhusky.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/apple-beet-lemon-juice/

So there you have it.  I declare the beet to be the new champion of all champions in the veggie world.  Plus is it just a pretty color!  Enjoy these two great recipes (certainly there are many more) to incorporate a powerful nutrient dense beauty of a rootie we call the beet.  Bon a "beet"-tit!

Goin' With My Gut!

Ever had "butterflies" in your stomach?  

When was the last time you made a decision based on a "gut instinct?"  

Or how about that stressful, "gut wrenching experience" you recently had?  

These descriptions of emotional situations are just that… our gastrointestinal tract is super sensitive to our emotions.  I believe the emotion to gut relationship goes both ways.  What our gut is experiencing is also related to our emotions….. Studies are showing that this is true!   The next time   you feel a gut instinct  take into consideration the health of your gut!

Our digestive system houses up to a thousand different kinds of bacteria.  This is called our intestinal flora.  The colonization of this bacteria isn't a bad thing necessarily.  The colonization of bacteria can result in things like our skin not cracking, fighting off other harmful illnesses,  digesting that veggie pizza you just ate for dinner, and taking out and using the nutrients from the veggies and salad on the side.  Our flora health is based on factors like birth from our mother, environment we live in now, stress, and the food we eat.  The health of our flora is directly related to our overall health.

Medical studies are now indicating that our gut health (or lack of ..) affects what goes on in our mind.  You are what you eat!  These studies are leading medical professionals to believe that the bacteria in our gut helps shape our brain structure as children growing up, and  influences moods and behaviors into adulthood..  I've blogged about this before in my "sugar and microbes in our mind" post.  I know for me, sugar or anything that breaks down as sugar in my body (alcohol) causes quite a turbulence in my gut, leading me into a downward spiral of emotions, negative thoughts, and just a general feeling of being "off-center." I suggest we begin to work on our gut health to promote better mind health.  So, how do we get our gut in better health? Here are a just few DO's and DONT'S to promote that amazing gut you have!

JUST SAY NO!

Antibiotics actually mean "against life" in Greek.  So don't take them!  They are designed to kill living organisms that make you sick.  The problem is that they kill all bacteria not just the bad ones. There is some great bacteria in that mix that get demolished!  That's when we come down with poor digestion, diarrhea, or yeast overgrowth in our body. Be very picky about your red meat.  Eating a lot of red meat can still exposed you to harmful side affects of antibiotics from the cows that have been injected with them.  If you love your red meat, then EAT GRASS FED, HUMANLY RAISED meat. Throw out the pre-packaged goods.  If your food comes in a package, think about it… it is loaded with artificial products and preservatives.  Did you know the purpose of preservatives is to kill bacteria that make your food spoil, but again, they kill the healthy bacteria in your gut.

EAT YOUR BACTERIA!

You grew up with your mom saying, "Eat your greens!"  Well what we need to be doing is eating our bacteria!   Probiotics help balance good bacteria in your gut.  Some great options for getting more life promoting probiotics in your diet are: 1. Fermented foods like sauerkraut or Kimchi or yummy fermented tea called Kombucha. 2.  Yogurt, but be CAREFUL…. some advertising on yogurt can be very misleading.  Not all yogurt are created equal!  Make sure your yogurt has the right kinds of bacteria.  Some bacteria***  in yogurt is broken down by the bile in your stomach and it doesn't do what it is marketed to do!  The bacteria you are looking for in yogurt is called Lactobacillus Acidophoilus and Bifidobacterium.  These are the troopers that survive the wild conditions of our stomach to do some good.

Try these simple steps to "go with your gut" and get that body mind and spirit in wonderful fabulous working order!  I can assure you that those "gut wrenching experiences" will begin to diminish.

******If your doctor prescribes a probiotic make sure it doesn't contain these two… they are destroyed in the stomach and do no good at all! Lactobacillus Delbrueckii Bulgaricus and Streptococcus Thermopiles

Harmful Ant-Ass-ids Revealed

Antacids or Apple Cider Vinegar?

Uncovering the Myth of Antacids

THIS:

It really burns me up how we are like lambs to the slaughter, just believing what the FDA, Big Pharma, or even simple marketing to the public tells us.  We have gotten a bit lazy here in America… and I am gonna bust up the antacid myth! All that you have been told about heart-burn, indigestion and common stomach ailments is a LIE!  Indigestion is not caused by the excess acid in your stomach nor is acid reflux.  Antacids are the worst treatments for these problems.  Your stomach is meant to be in an acidic state friend… there is no such thing as having an excess of acid regarding the stomach.

The industry has made ASS-ID's of all of us!

Antacids prevent proper digestion,  even causing all kinds of chemical reactions in your body that cause the rest of your body to be more acidic and that my misinformed friend is UNHEALTHY!

THAT:

The next time your find yourself suffering from symptoms of indigestion…. try this instead.  Take a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (ACV).  I recommend Braggs Organic ACV.  Put a tablespoon in a glass of water and your stomach churning and pain will subside within minutes.  If you have ulcers… then it won't work.  Pharma won't make any money on this one! Since Pharma won't profit, you won't be told about it or read about it in a medical journal.

Well now, considered yourself informed.

mind over matter

Dr Bernie Seigel states, "We are wired to operate in accordance with our beliefs. This all happens outside our awareness."

Our beliefs are hardwiring our body.  Do you have unexpressed anger?  Are you a people pleaser?  Do you suffer with repressed feelings?  Feel trapped?  Lonely?  Do you live in fear?  Do you live in guilt or shame?

If your mind is living in any of these scenarios, then the chemistry is changing and your immunity is depleting.  Your stress hormones are on the rise….

You have the ability to change your body chemistry with your attitude.  So many of you have lived for years thinking that you were powerless, helpless, controlled.  But you are not!

If you would like help gaining back your vitality and health…. contact me through my website at
www.shellitrippbloom.com

Life is precious and What you F33D does grow!

Life is Muddy!

 June 7, 2014

I drove a new stake in the ground.

 I waved the flag liberating my warrior

Going into this event, I knew would change me!  I was ready for more transformation.  I watched all the videos to pump myself up.  I knew I was mentally and physically strong.

Tough Mudder…. is not an "alone" kinda event

I am grateful for the crew I ran/walked this with.  You need your peeps to help pull you up over mud moguls, walls, arctic enemas     (to (cheer you on getting out of that!), and to carry you on their back literally!  Your peeps encourage you to keep going when you don't think you can go another step.  Everyone  is your comrade…..and I do mean EVERYONE… In fact, I almost got engaged to a stranger near the end!  Just kiddin'….. kinda.

Tough Mudder is  one  big muddy "love fest"  and you know how much I love to love!

It  represents how we should do life in community.    We should call out each others strengths.  We should encourage and motivate our people to keep going strong and hard, reaching out a hand when needed.

My biggest buddy…Kim and I stuck together thru the mud, trail running, muddy miles, climbs, and just the muck!  Did I mention that I met Kim on the first mile of the run?  My  "bad-ass-i-tude" began on that first mile with Kim

Upon arriving at the 5,000 person event, I was desperate to find a bathroom (not all that unusual), so I lost my group to save my dignity of  wetting myself right there…. It took me awhile to find them, and I was actually a little worried I wouldn't  find them.  

The voices started at that point.

Those familiar sinister voices accusingly attack:  "You are gonna fail.  You are not strong.  Everyone else is stronger.  You will get left behind."  Yeah, those condemning ones that still visit me at times.  I pushed them aside.  Found my group… and we started corralling for our 9:30 start time.  Wow, the energy was electric.  Music played, chants were repeated to pump us up even more.  Star Spangle Banner  was played.  Off we went up and over our first wall!  At this point, I knew …. THIS JUST GOT REAL!

 adrenalin was flowing and  I was feeling strong!  I had a team and we were all invincible!   At this point, I found my friend Kim who was at my pace, and we spent the rest of the day encouraging each other through the obstacles and runs…..

Ten miles and 20 obstacles in 4 hours aint half bad!  I don't have pictures for all of the obstacles, but here are a few, in no particular order of how the day played out!

Balls To The Wall

I loved this event.  I was strong, and no problem getting over it.

Wow ladies….There were tons of cute guys… mud and all!   What a great place to see what it is truly like to be treated like a lady.  Men I didn't know where offering their hands to hoist me over hills and walls;  Telling us we were looking good as we ran by… and DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND I DIDN'T OFFER MY ENCOURAGING WORDS TO A MAN OR TWO ALONG THE WAY!  LOL.  Kim and I laughed  about  what a great way to meet my new "man"  I mean he'd see me at my best and/or worst (however you wanna look at it).  So yes, there was flirting going on here and there.

Meet my almost fiancé!

We seemed to keep finding our way back to each other.  Here at pure exhaustion, and one of the last obstacles called Mud Moguls, he helped me with his big strong hands.  Lol.  To me, he was the most handsome muddy man in the whole world!  And such a gentleman!  Our first meeting was when he volunteered to base me on the Human Pyramid Scheme

Where the human pyramid is advertised to look like this….

Mine below…..Not so much! Lol!   In my defense…… I was told to do this by the men basing me!  Not sure why he said turn on my back and reach up…. but I did what I was told.  Thankful for my new pal Matt who pulled me up!  Glad he trained hard and did his push-ups!

See that  hand lifting my left foot?  Isn't it the most beautiful hand you have ever seen?  This sweet muddy lug let me stand on his left shoulder while my other foot stood on Eric's shoulder….  Oh, and the guy at the top right hand corner of this pic?  That's Matt.    Super thankful for those muscles of his!

The next picture is of the Funky Monkey and no, this is NOT me.  I don't have one of me on them.  But it was one of the obstacles I was most afraid of.  I was worried that I would not get across.  

 Starting out, I had my groove, and my body swing to help me get to the next bars.  The monkey bars were up hill… and once you got to the middle, they started to slope down….  My gloves hindered me to get the grip I needed, but a  big mistake I made was stopping for a rest in the middle.  It stopped my body swing, and my glove gripped caused me to slide off into the muddy water below.  I KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT TIME TO GO ALL THE WAY ACROSS.

Team work  is everything!  How else could I have done This!

or THIS!!!!!

My next challenge that had me a bit worried….

 EVEREST

I missed on my first try, sliding down the wall in defeat.  Life is about picking ourselves up, brushing ourselves off, and trying again!  And I did it on the 2nd attempt….. Yay!

A week ago today, I was recovering from this great event!   I still smile thinking about my new lifelong muddy buddies, and  the life lessons I learned from this adventure.  The plan is to begin training now for the October Mudder in Dallas.  I have one person committed to doing it with me.  If you want to join us let me know!

Here's to getting muddy in life and encouraging each other, lifting each other up, and dragging each other along the way! 

Screens

Many times, I have used the screen analogy with clients, friends, and even myself.  It was introduced to me years ago by my (then) therapist.  The healing seeds he planted into my heart will never be forgotten.  Letters and assignments engraved in my soul, are priceless codes I still draw upon as I walk life.  One very memorable conversation we had dealt with filters; Screens if you will.  It is a metaphor for the barrier between the giving and receiving of messages;  Reminding me to maintain mine as well as understand and empathize with others whose screens may still need a lot of cleaning.   

When a screen is clogged with dirt, its kinda hard for the light to get through and what light pushes through is dull.   Looking through the screen, we can't quite capture the clear beauty on the other side.  Our vision isn't distorted, but the picture we view is distorted as the dirt blocks it, and we perceive that picture as TRUTH.  Trouble and misunderstanding occurs when we start seeing or "hearing" through an unclear screen.  It can be that we don't receive a message the way it was intended, or that the message we intend to send out gets distorted going through another's filter.  It's why we need to be intentional about doing the work to keep our own screen clean.  

I realized that this metaphor not only applies in communing with another person, but also it applies to our belief systems we receive and messages we send to ourselves.  

This rustic dirty beautiful old screen door represents our hearts.  They are dirty, worn, and chipped from the harsh weathering erosion that life serves.   They too are beautiful and unique treasures.  Take a deeper look past the dirt.  Do you see the (wise) cracks?  Do you embrace the rusty creakings (idiosyncracies)  that you  find annoying?  Can you now observe them  as part of your personal charm?  They are all unique intricacies that make you, well….. YOU.  As you scrub, chip, and rinse away the grime, take time in your work to enjoy the glory of YOU.  

 Perhaps I am drawn to old screen doors for this very reason.  For the texture, color, chips, cracks, and tears layered in beautiful displays.  For when truly "seen" for their uniqueness, are enjoyed by all.  Maintaining a clean screen is lifelong.  How about we appreciate our splendor as we work to clean up.     

Raising the White Flag

  I celebrated another birthday recently.  I seem to get deep and reflective on birthdays (just birthdays?????), glancing over my past year and challenging myself for the next.  I celebrated the victories, lessons, and growth.  I also saw a specific area that was not serving me well at all.   My conviction was to live this next year contrary to my controlling tendencies.  At first, when I saw this control,  I argued with myself.  ME????? CONTROLLING!???  NOT ME!  I abhor controlling behavior!  Most who really know me, totally get this about me too.  If there is one thing I hate, its feeling controlled or witnessing controlling behavior.  My next thought was, "Hmmmm, aren't  those qualities I  detest in others really the same qualities in myself that I hate?  Isn't that why I project?"

I was getting  that gentle tap on the shoulder;  the one when I think I have all my "shit" together and more is actually revealed to me.  I hate those taps sometimes, but I am also thankful for them.

Honestly, I have never considered  myself a control FREAK (or what my perception of a control freaks are), yet places in my heart still remain shut out to surrender.  Heavy barricaded doors block those rooms in my heart where I still want to tell God what I want, need, and deserve.  If I will them enough to come or speak out loud into the universe enough to come, then these desires will come back to me.  A gentle nudging in my soul this past weekend revealed my need to control;  soft, non-intrusive tapping spotlighted secret places still thirsty for freedom.

For a few minutes, I argued with the presented logical question, "How has that been working so far?"

I have a good life.  I lack for nothing.  I am blessed," I argue.

"So why are you trying to control this good, lacking for nothing, and blessed life?"

"I'm not???!"

"Really???"  I can almost see my Creator grinning as I hear him speak this.

Stopping dead in my thoughts, I got it. I got that I was holding on to places to control.  Fear of releasing stole my freedom.   My heart hungers for freedom.

Freedom is the antithesis of control.   SURRENDER is what I need.   Surrender of the thoughts; of the what if's, the must have's, the if only's, the dream  jobs, and the dream man.   I realize that there is no dream job, dream man, dream situation, dream anything, but just the NOW and the being in surrender of it.

I think I like this surrendering so far.   The freedom  that comes from me raising this white flag; of relinquishing my perceived control is PEACE.

The Spider and the Dragonfly

What was meant to be a relaxing sea salt soak in the serenity of my claw foot tub last night became an unexpectant reminder to me of a valuable and dare I say violent life lesson.  I truly just wanted a                non-thinking soak; relief for my already over thinking mind.  But no, it was not to be.  This soak was a segway to deep self discovery.

Beside my tub, a window overlooks my lush green lot.  As I was looking out the window, taking in the beauty… I was captured by this scene.  Amazed, I witnessed a lovely, wispy dragonfly that was caught up in the spiders web on my window sill.   Tracing the silver linings of the silvery web, I discovered the spider busily spinning more web around the fly.  What gripped my soul, was the sight of the dragonfly fighting for his life, contrasted by the still calm of the spider.  The dragonfly fought fiercely without abandon.  The web wildly bouncing, I thought that spider was going to fall off from the turbulence.  No, the spider was firmly planted.  Occasionally, the spider would crawl closer in to the fly, as if to tease him of his impending doom. The fly would not relinquish.  Then the spider would go back to his spot and  sit still and watch, do a little work, sit still, then crawl in again and get just close enough to the fly.  The fly was still thrashing wildly, and the spider would retreat.  My entire picture of what my bath was to look like was ruined.  I was committed to this scene.  I wanted to do something.  I wanted to open that window and get the fly out of danger.  But I didn’t.  Intead, my troubled spirit watched in horror until at last, the dragonfly grew weary of his fight, and resigned.  The spider moved in and did what spiders do.  The spider won the battle, not by flailing and fighting hard, but by his calm stillness.

I played this tape back of my life.  I am both the dragonfly and  spider.  Two warring dichotomies of my soul draw me to examine a crisis of belief about my life.  This natural order of the universe paints a lovely yet perhaps distorted canvass mirroring the tension in my soul.

In my web…. my life as the dragonfly, I fight.  I fight hard.  I fight without abandon.  I hold tight and I kick and I flail for my freedom.  Freedom of weeds in the garden of my soul that rooted and sprouted false belief systems.   2 Timothy 4:7 speaks of “fighting the good fight, finishing the course.”  Like the dragonfly, I thrash violently for change….for that metamorphosis of the dark coal to the lovely dazzle of a diamond inside my soul.

There are others times in my Web, where I am still.  I take a calm resolve.  Taking one day at a time, I cling to the verse…. Exodus 14:14 “the Lord will fight for me, I only need to be still”  Another scripture I know of is simply, “Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10.  I remain still, like the spider on that turbulent web holding strong as it bounces spasmodically.   Stillness, tranquils my soul.  Stillness ushers peace.  Stillness determines that I am “OK” with my position.

I am led to this question.  When is it exactly that my God works his masterpieces?  When is it that the Artist who constructs the canvass of my soul works his accomplishments?  Will I win with stillness?  Or is it my fight that will usher victory?  I am not sure.  For today, I will fight.  Or will I be still?