Keep your Pearls to Yourself

This post is mainly for the Ladies!

"Don't Cast Your Pearls to Swine"

Matthew 7:6

Here I am again, writing when I am supposed to be studying.

This is how it usually happens.  I have a deadline, and I write of those other things and stay in denial of what is due.  I am supposed to be writing about another sexual disfunction from my sex therapy class.  Due Monday!  Yet, as I have researched and reflected on todays sexual culture, I cannot NOT write you you today.   Let me begin with a brief, and I do mean BRIEF history of the pearl!

Pearls are the world's oldest and most treasured gem.  Unlike gemstones that are mined from the earth, the beauty and brilliance from pearls  are produced by living organisms;  irritants, or parasites become lodged in the oysters' soft inner flesh and a substance called crystalline is produced that builds up around the irritant in layers until a pearl is formed.

In ancient Rome, pearls were considered the greatest status symbol and so precious were they considered, that Ceasar decreed that only the ruling classes should be allowed to wear them.  In Ancient China, pearls were considered to represent purity by the pearl wearer....

PURE AND PRECIOUS

Stay with me here ladies....  Did you know that you are a pearl?  A treasured daughter of the Most High God and your pearls are brilliant from all of the pieces of your story, your irritants, parasites, and years of protection in that shell?  Something beautiful in you has been made from perhaps so not-so beautiful surroundings too!  You are beautiful, unique, and priceless.  Your story is to be treasured.  Your body is priceless.   Your soul is magnificent!  These are your pearls!

Why do you NOT protect what is so magnificent?  A family heirloom is treated with more respect and cherished with more care oftentimes than your own body and soul.  I speak now in reference to the culture we live in where casual sex, pornography, swinging, group sex (to name a few) is fairly common.  As single adult, I see it everywhere from school, churches, online dating sites, to the work force.  If you are looking for that, it is certainly  not difficult to find.  In fact, if you are not looking for it.... it tries to find you!   I have recently had to (once again)  deactivate my online dating site of choice as it is inundated with the perversions that I have no patience to weed through.

Teens, you are experiencing it at school.  You think it's ok to participate in various other activities excluding intercourse because then you are "still a virgin."    Young ladies are trying so hard to fit in and keep the boy that they will participate.  There is so much pressure!  This is not to shame you ladies.  This is to show you that your value is far greater!  For you are more precious than even the most precious gems!  

This is not to scare you into purity either.  I don't believe in fear tactics.  (spoken from a recovered codependent who lived in fear) I want you to see your value and love yourself!

When you move too fast physically with a guy, you are giving your pearls to someone who has definitely not earned them.  He doesn't value you enough to take care of them.  How can he, since you just met him?   Those pearls will get thrown in the mud for sure.

When you are vulnerable with too much of your story too soon... (I've been there too) he/she has not earned that.  Brene Brown talks about this when she says that not everyone deserves to hear those parts of your story.  Not everyone deserves to share that vulnerable side with you.  Trust must be built first.

Trust takes time.  In our society we all are used to immediate gratification and we "want it all now"

Be patient.

But instead, as a society, we cast our pearls out to anyone who will take them, (the swine) and they end up in the mud!  Your soul is hurt, you feel betrayed, you have given a piece of yourself (sexually or non sexually) to someone who has not proven trustworthy or earned it.

I AM NOT ONLY REFERRING TO YOUR BODIES AND SEX.

When you make a new friend, and confide in them before they have build trust?  You have casted your pearls to swine.    I have done this in relationships that are plutonic and romantic in my past.  Have you ever done this with a new relationship?  Have you ever shared so much of yourself and your story quickly in attempt to build that close bond?  Oh man, That used to be my angle... for years and years...  And boy did I learn some painful lessons.   Keep those treasured pearls to you and your bestie!

I know, I know, I've been there...... Its the whole "if they know me they will love me" mentality.   Well, don't need to perform to get love!  You are already loved with an everlasting love dear girl!

AGAIN, it takes the value and treasures of you and cheapens as you share.  No one has earned the right to hold your pearls, until you have patiently built that trust.

KEEP YOUR PEARLS TO YOURSELF.  

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A little quote I hear occasionally when I meet a new friend or date a new guy is this, and its short but sweet...  "say little"    Say little.  Listen more.  Build the trust.  If its genuine, then you will know in time, and then, when you pull out a pearl to share, it WILL be valued and cherished.   

SEXY PICS

I did some research and do you know that there are instructions using barbies out there to teach you how to take a sexy photo to post? 

When you post a sensual "gasp face" (This is in by the way, and duck face is out apparently),
show cleavage, or then to that add  a scandally clothed picture of yourself (bikini...low cut top...short shorts, mid drift) on any social media, you have casted your pearls to swine.  Just saying.  I know it is hard to hear, but its true!

 Those are your breasts!  

That is your cleavage!

YES, it is all beautiful!

But now the whole world sees it and you have just cheapened yourself ladies....

I won't post anything like it...  I'm a bore I guess.. but the a few of the good guys (and a lot of swine) actually still come knocking at my boring pictures on that online dating website that I just shut down again.....

That is MY body and I respect ME  enough and I respect my  future husband (someday) enough to show even him that NO ONE has seen what is now his.  Not his buddies on Facebook or Instagram from a picture I posted.  Only him.  How beautiful is that women, if we save those most precious gems for HIM!  How loved and cherished will he feel by us knowing we did that?  How rich of a relationship do we set ourselves up for when we stay patient?

Do you want to be a sex object for men to visualize and then fantasize about?  That is what you do when you post sexy pics of yourself.  You have officially objectified yourself.  Yes, you will definitely get the attention you want.  But is that the attention you really want?

KEEP YOUR PEARLS TO YOURSELF.

When you send a sexy picture to someone via text.... more swine.  Not gonna lie, when I say I have had men ask, and even when I have wanted to (which is just about never) I remember how much I respect my body and my treasured pearls.  I remember my future and how loved my future will feel because of my choice now.  Once a picture is out, its out and you can't get it back!

Girls, you have WORKED hard for your pearls.  You have endured, and run that race.....  don't throw them now.  Hold on to your precious gems, keep your soul safe, and your body as the temple of the Lord.

The greatest things in our lives are worth waiting patiently for.  

Keep your pearls to yourself... They are way more beautiful on you than any swine...