Splinters and Stones

I think there is a reason I love this song so very much. It resonates deeply. I still cannot get through it without shedding a tear. (what else is new, right?)

but if you have a chance, listen to this beautiful acoustic version...

This past Sunday.... well.... it was perfect. Symbolic. Beautiful. I was not even going to go to church this week, as I had a final to study for, but I did go. Each song and reading leading up to the teaching laid the groundwork in my heart for a final letting go. Letting go of what you ask? Maybe of resentments that still try to creep in. Yeah, I think that could be it. I still feel like I have a right to be ticked sometimes about injustices. But in church Sunday, I was reminded through every single song and scripture reading of how beautiful letting go and surrender is.

As I reflect on my journey that 2016 took me on, I am reminded of the words in Exodus 14:14 that say, "God will fight for you, just be still." And it is a verse that I hung on to for dear life as many injustices came my way. Misunderstood, mistreated, stripped in every detailed way that I identified myself, I hung on for dear life and took the words to heart. Stones were thrown. Many stones. This time, rather than to pick them up and throw them back, I let my Divine take them. He dealt with it all for me and told me to be still. To save all my energy for it, I closed off, self protected, and took out my pen. I wrote... ALOT. I write about stones often. Often, stones metaphors for lies we hold to about ourselves. I also found solace in music....ALOT.

As I heard a teaching about David and Goliath, I was reminded of my own David season when I came up against numerous Goliaths... alone. In my 6-7 months of clinging and holding on to truths, against the lies that bullied me from every direction, I asked God for one thing. I asked Him to change me and no one else. That while he fought for me, would he teach me how to love mercy, and walk kindly? Would he teach me more about gratitude? Oh it was a doozy of a time. Looking back on it, I daresay, I would do it again.

You see, every day, we are faced with stones, with words spoken to us and about us. It's a broken world. But we have a choice. What we do with those words and accusations bear tremendous responsibility. We hold the power of life and or death birthed in our thoughts and then words. I wonder how David handled the accusations? I wonder how still David was before his time came? Was he still before he was brave? Was he still before he boldly shouted his victory? What about Christ? Was he still and calm before his accusers? Something I ponder as I continually seek to be kind, brave, still, and loving...letting go of my final "rights" to resentments.

Sunday marks a year when it all began. And it is a year that I will honor and respect. I know life is hard. I also know that life is beautiful, and much is determined by the way we handle our little bags of stones. What will you do with your stones?