Two Simple Words

Recently, a friend invited me into a chapter of her story, threads of a complicated conflict still unresolved.  Frustrated, confused, and slightly stuck, she shared her heart.  Let’s face it…. This can be any one of us at any given time, right?   We are humans, and we can pretty much SUCK sometimes in our relationships.  We have baggage.  We operate in our systems of belief molded many times from unhealed spaces within.  And by “relationship,” I refer to any interaction with another, not just a familial or romantic one.  In my own human-ness,  I have found myself to act selfishly, carelessly offend, or flippantly disregard another.  Damnit, I am not perfect yet and it pisses me off!  Thankfully, I’ve grown (grown is the key word here) a sensitivity to know when I have offended or hurt another fairly quickly, and I work to repair with the other human. 

I allowed my friend to continue on about the offense, the “scriptural” arguments for why she was “right” and the other character in this plot was wrong.  Oh, how we (I, I mean really, I can only speak for myself here) like to justify our offenses.  I listened, validated, listened some more, encouraged, and then shared these two simple words I am about to share with you.  Are you ready? 

Change Me……

These two words are usually the last two words I fall asleep praying.  On the nights I’m not falling asleep with ruminations of gratitude, I have my own unmet expectations, disappointments, and soul hurts.  I’ve come into a slow mastery over (mostly).  I said SLOW, right?  And I type MASTERY with much respect and reverence.  That mastery has come in the supernatural power of “change me.”  Modern culture breeds “pay back” spurring on “an eye for an eye!” 

Here are some elementary examples of this eye for an eye mentality:

*Well they cut me off in traffic and so I am gonna cut them off, flip them off, honk at them, etc.

*That person wronged me in ____________________ therefore I will cut them off emotionally and/or physically! (block them, unfriend, never speak, cuss them out, gossip, withhold affection... choose your poison)

*I am going to treat that person the same way they treated me because what goes around comes around..... karma and all…..

*He/She used me in ___________________ and they don’t deserve kindness or____________.

Resonate?

I AM PROOF THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!

I used to react in this mentality.   Oh, how many times I reacted in such a way mirroring another’s treatment (mistreatment) of me.  Oh, the times I griped in my own marriage about something my husband “did” or “didn’t do” and how HIS behavior affected me.  How many times in my past I reacted to a family member’s words or actions that offended me.  How many groups, churches, relationships I LEFT because of how I didn’t like what they said or did.  Oh how very self-focused this human being was (pointing at self as I write this). 

I don’t really know when the shift began, but a shift nonetheless has ushered me into a peaceful, presence with still quiet calm that blooms from a tiny seed prayer.  It saturates my being at a cellular level and allows me to rebound more quickly (but not quick enough still sometimes).  It has allowed me to hold on for dear life in those impossible situations when I have absolutely no clue how a situation will resolve.  "Change Me."  These two words have powerfully transformed my thoughts and when my thoughts are transformed, the real miracles begin.  I can give you one story after another of how this principle has worked in my relationships.  But to protect those humans I will keep them off of this page.   

“But Shelli, what about that friend who gossiped about me?”

CHANGE ME.  Your actions are much more powerful than their words. 

“Shelli, what about that unfair situation going on right now?”

CHANGE ME.  Character is built in your response to unfair situations.

For that couple in frustration and stuck?  Who is missing each other with every spoken word?

CHANGE ME.  Softening happens.

For the one who has a prodigal, feeling left and abandoned? 

CHANGE ME.   Freedom......

It’s very easy and dare I say, self-focused to pray, “change their hearts, God,” or “If You could only make them see their wrong,” or “Help __________ see my viewpoint,” kinda prayers. 

My challenge to you, dear reader is to try two new words.  “Change me.” 

This supernatural syntax is where the loveliest, most beautiful plot twist is written. For when you think the story will be written one way for certain, the new chapter that begins with “change me” welcomes freedom for our DIVINE to rewrite the narrative in a new and beautiful outcome (often nothing like I expected either).  “Change me” has challenged me in the depths of my painful perceived rejections, abandonments, mistreatments, indignations, accusations, and any trial really.  “Change me” began as a spoken word having no clue what it would look like.  “Change me” reacts in a question of  “what would Love say or do?”   “Change me” begs the question, “what experience do I truly want to cause others?” 

What experience are you committed to cause?  When you figure that one out, then you can authentically begin to say, “Change me.”